Once again it has been forever since I have updated this blog. I would love to say I won't let it happen again but lets face it, it probably will.
First on the list for an update, the 1 year anniversary. I petitioned my family members for ideas as to what we should do that day. I had decided that I was tired of being sad all the time and I wanted to try and make a good memory out of a crappy day. My aunt came up with the brilliant idea of going to Lagoon. I wanted to keep the group small so it was just me, Parker, my mom, aunt and uncle. We got up early and got on the road before I really had time to feel sad. The idea was to have so much fun that I wouldn't wallow in my sorrows. It worked!
We spent the day laughing and having fun like a bunch of kids. Parker loved it too. He got to ride almost every ride because he's so tall. We ate a ton of junk food, my mom tried not to puke on the Tilt o Whirl, Parker drove the bumper cars like a mad man, and I didn't feel sad.
I am so lucky to have such an amazing family. They sacrificed their days off to come help me make the day a good one. I couldn't have hoped for a better day. I got to spend the day with the people I love the most in this world, having fun and loving life. I think Quinn would be really proud me. He never was one to sit and feel sorry for himself. And I'd like to think he was watching us the whole time, laughing right along with us. I missed him that day and I still miss him everyday. But I'm finally starting to move on. For so long I've felt stagnant, it's nice to feel myself moving forward for a change.
Over the last 2 months I've been finding myself doing things I haven't done since Quinn died. Each time I think to myself "I haven't done this in over a year" and it is so wonderful. Last week for example, I went to eat at La Cocina. It's the best Mexican restaurant in the valley. Quinn and I would eat there almost every Thursday. I thoroughly enjoyed every bite, I had forgotten how good it was. Another milestone, I haven't cried for almost 2 months. I remember thinking making it 5 minutes was awesome, I've come a long way.
There are some things that I still do obsessively. Like check the NTSB site everyday. And can I just say, I'm getting really frustrated. It's been 14 months, and still the accident report hasn't been updated. It's not even on the list of investigations nearing completion. I know that it takes time, and there is a process. The office probably has a ton of investigations going on at one time. I'm trying to be patient. But it is starting to get really ridiculous. Seriously, don't they know that we have been waiting long enough? I want to just call them up and say "Pull the lead out already! I'm done waiting." Of course I know that I wouldn't actually get through to anyone if I called. And it wouldn't make a difference anyway. What do you do right?
