Change: The Good Kind

I noticed something about myself today, I am comfortable in my own skin. I'm not sure when it happened but I like it. Today, I joined in a class discussion and I didn't get nervous or care if people thought what I said was stupid. I've been making friends like crazy too. I've started a study group for one of my classes and I'm talking to complete strangers. These are all things I've never done before. I can only guess, but I think it's because of my experiences. I know that I will survive no matter what happens. I will come out of it intact. I may be a little flustered and bruised but I'll be intact.

There have been other things too. I laugh more, smile more, work harder and play harder. I have made an effort to make connections with the people around me. I still have a lot of bad moments, more than I'd care to admit. But I am doing my best to take them in stride and lean on the people I trust for support. That's another thing, I am trusting people. I am able to trust them because I trust myself. I even stayed calm today when I noticed a spider crawling on my leg. Talk about incredible, huh?

There are a lot of things I would like to improve on. Giving people the benefit of the doubt before judging them is a big one. I'll get there someday. I'll eventually accomplish the goals I have. I will have the kind of life that would make Q proud. I will do it for him but more importantly I will do it for me. As terrible as all this has been, I have been given a new perspective on myself and the world around me. I like this new way of seeing things. I like being confident in myself. I like this new life I'm building for myself.