A little insight

I generally hold back with everything I do, I always have. I've held back in the effort I put forth towards work, school, in what I allow people to see about me and how close I let myself get to others. I do this as a self protection mechanism, if I'm not completely involved in something I won't fall apart if it fails. There is a price that must be paid for that protection though. I've never been very successful and I've never made a lasting connection with another person. I'm coming to realize it's not worth it. I long for the relationships I see other people have and I know I can never have that until I let go of my fear and trust others. I've decided today that I'm done being fearful, I'm going to go out and find that person that I can trust completely. I will let them in and if they hurt me so be it, I'm strong enough to survive it. I'm tired of going through life alone when I'm constantly surrounded. Enough is enough, it's time to let go of control and jump with both feet. I have a feeling it's gonna be the ride of my life. Wish me luck!