Going Through The Motions

I have hit plateau of sorts. Everyday is similar to Ground Hog's Day. I wake up and move through my day in a kind of daze. I'm going on auto pilot. There are still moments each day that I feel either happy or sad but I've become mostly numb. I guess it is better than constant aching but I long for the happiness I felt before. I feel stagnant even though I'm sure progress is being made. As a result of numb emotions, I've hit a writing wall. I cannot form the words in my head to describe my thoughts and feelings. So, as a solution, I will let others form the words for me. I plan to include poems or songs that have touched me in some way.

This first poem really caught my eye. It was almost like hearing Quinn speak directly to me.

Letter from Heaven
To my dearest family some things I'd like to say...
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay,
I'm writing this from Heaven. Here I dwell with God above
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you"

"It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone,
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the days chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you . . in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It always was my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and in pain,
then you can say to God at night..."My day was not in vain"
And now I am contented...that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is feeling sad and low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind

And when it's time for you to go . . from that body to be free,
Remember you're not going . . you're just coming here to me.
-Ruth Ann Mahaffey-
Copyright 1998