Getting Better

Since the one month anniversary, I have been improving everyday. I am starting to come out of the daze I had been in. This morning as I was driving to work, I actually thought, "It's a really pretty day." Before I thought how unfair it was for the weather to be nice when I couldn't fully enjoy it.

I am changed because I knew Q. In some ways it's almost comical. I don't even think the same way anymore. Like when I crave Cafe Rio I think, "You and your Cafe Rio!" (He never fully understood my love affair with their food.) I look at the price when I buy things and grab the cheaper brand. I turn off my A/C in my car before getting out. (He said it's bad for the compressor if the A/C is on when you start your car.) I stand up for myself now and I know how to say no. (He was always pushing me to do that.)

Looking back, everything that is different is also better. I am still the same person. I still freak out over stupid things. I'm still moody, emotional, quirky and selfish. Nothing about who I really am changed, just my habits. I am a new & improved Becky and I really like it. Don't get me wrong, I still have a million things to work on (being patient) but I'll get there. I am very grateful for having known Q.

The best version of myself came out when I was with him. I think its because of who he was. He was kind, patient, loving, reliable, and dedicated. He loved my silly quirks so much that he started copying them. (Making food dance, saying sucketh) He would sit patiently while I had my selfish moments and then call me on my crap when I was done. He saw right through me, broke down all my walls & loved me anyway. He was the perfect compliment to me. We leveled each other out. He calmed me down and I livened him up. He taught me how to be frugal, I taught him how to go out and have a really good meal even if it meant spending a little more.

I've decided to start including a favorite memory at the end of each post. I need to lighten things up a bit. I hope you enjoy a look inside our world.

Every morning while we were getting ready, we would play tick-tac-toe on our bathroom mirror with dry erase markers. Except for when one of us would cheat, they were always stalemates. I was always the X, he was always the O. (To cheat, we would make our move outside the squares. I don't know why but it was funny every time.)